Arise and Shine

“Arise and shine, for thy Light has come, and the glory of the LORD is risen upon thee.”

• Isaiah 60:1  KJV

“Lord, let me not doubt myself because others do.

Let me not doubt Your Word because others were not there when You spoke to me.

Help me believe Your expressed Word to me is true.“

*** A while ago ***

“I don’t want you to hide Your Light again” , God said to me. It was the second day of the new year.

“This year I will shine”, I responded.

I was sitting on the bed of the Airbnb hotel room I booked for my first personal retreat outside of Berlin.

The journey of six hours in the train kind of wore me out but I was never in this city before and I really wanted to see how it was like. So here I was.

My eyes began to wander through the room. I took my time to become aware of my environment. I actually loved it. Coming into my hotel room, there was a small bathroom in modern style to the right. Going further, turquoise curtains covered the window side and a kingsize bed to the right filled the room to its majority. Opposite the bed a small TV promised entertainment and a desk next to it provided a work space.

I looked at my suitcase next to my bed. The mattress was neither too hard nor too soft.

I liked it.

“We made it Holy Spirit” , I said, while a rising state of contentment grew within me. I have longed for a time outside my home town.

“This city stresses me out“. My thoughts wandered through the streets I grew up in.

“It’s so loud and hectic!”.

I have always desired to live in a quiet place with wide fields and occasional cars driving by on the one street available.

“To live in a quiet place and drive into the city for work would be ideal”, I shared with God as I dreamed of my future residence.

“Anyways, I am here. We are here, let’s have some what … ?” , I asked Him.

“FUN!” , God responded and we both started laughing. I could feel God smiling at me. He seemed to look forward to our time, whereas I didn’t even know what to expect. I’ve never anticipated a physical journey to seek the Face of God.

“What am I supposed to do?”, I asked the Holy Spirit.

“Nothing”, He replies, “just breathe”.

“Lol, it must be nice”, I thought, but decided to just do what He told me to do. Slowly, I felt His Peace flooding me. A new song rose in my heart: “It’s Your Breath in our lungs, so we pour out our praise, we pour out our praise …”.

While I remained seated in my worship song, I could feel tension leave my body.

“How simple it is to find rest in God”, I thought and shook my head in my awareness of how often I was stressed out.

So God took me into His secret place. The Word of God came to me to show me things to come. I began to journey with the Holy Spirit as my guide in the path of His prayer.

***

Time has passed and I found myself again at the same spot I was in week one of that year.

Though I have walked, I did not progress.

I walked around my mountain.

I did not allow myself to shine.

I suppressed my light as much as I could because I was afraid of the opinion of man.

It is interesting to me that I cannot change the fact that God has placed His Light inside of me. It is there. But it is my choice to let it shine.

I learned that God waits exactly at the spot of my agreement with the Word He spoke to me. I can believe to have understood but start walking in the path of imaginations in my heart. Exalting my word above His. Convincing myself that I am still walking in God’s Will, just to find myself having wandered away. Being lost and going back all the way. Just to find Jesus were we left off communicating.

I learned that He does not deviate or move. He waits. He waits for my Yes. He won’t move ahead, if I don’t join Him. He calls me, to sit with me, and strengthen me, until I have the courage to stand up again and walk with Him. I learned that His Call is as clear and sound when I am distant and when I am near.

I learned that His Word does not change and that God is the only Constant that remains. His Voice always finds me, lost where I am, and leads me back home to Him.

I learned that truly, Jesus is the only Way. Jesus is the only Truth, and He is the only Life.

How patient God is!

How certain He is about every soul He calls!

How certain He is about me!

How much God believes in me that He would wait for my faith to refocus on Him as long as my thoughts wander in the desert of doubt!

How much He must love me to wait for me!

How much I must mean to Him for Him to call me once I fall away!

How aware He must be of me that He stops and turns around for me, to look for me where I got trapped within the thorns of life!

How much time God makes for me!

How He loves me without hurry!

How He looks at me without pressure!

How He knows me!

Intimately!

I love how certain God is, always!

That there is nothing he says and does that is not intentional and approved by Him.

I can trust God!

I can believe Him!

I can know that God means what He says because He cannot lie!

I cut myself with every evil word I spoke over myself and the wound of my soul opened once again.

Is it not strange how we don’t allow God to heal a wound and open it again once we see it closing up a bit?

Because we are afraid of the change that each healing brings?

A wounded state calls for care. If I only believe that I receive care when I am hurt, I have not discovered real Love. If my definition of Love is attention when I feel weak, I do not have a  full understanding of the fulness of Love.

And I remembered again who I am. I recognised the path of Him and found a true part of me again. I met Me on my way back to Him.

***

Live!

Again!

Says the LORD whose Breath is in your lungs!

This is me.

No longer hiding; from Him, myself or anyone.

“Arise and shine, for thy Light has come, and the Glory of the LORD is risen upon thee”, says the LORD!

• Isaiah 60:1  KJV

***

“I don’t want you to hide Your Light again!”, God said to me today.

“I won’t!” , I said and looked at Him again.

“So, let’s shine”, we said.